Things You Should Never Say in Your Maid of Honor and Best Man Speeches

It’s no secret that the roles of best man and maid of honor are pretty important. In addition to helping with DIY projects, planning a great bachelor/bachelorette party, and providing the perfect speech, they are also responsible for helping the bride and groom during the entire planning process. The internet has tons of articles that describe what to include in your best man or maid of honor’s speech. Now let’s look at the other side. Today we’ll look at the things you shouldn’t (and I mean NEVER) say while toasting a newlywed couple.

1. Previous Relationships

Our lives are filled with the pursuit of love, and as a result, we often date many people who weren’t the right match. If you were the best man or maid of honor, you watched your best friend date several people throughout her lifetime. If you are writing your reception speech, you may be tempted to refer to past relationships. It seems like a comfortable and straightforward way to show how unique your best friend really is by comparing her new spouse to the other girlfriends and boyfriends. The thing is, bringing up old lovers is a sure-fire way to make everyone very uncomfortable. Do not let the past interfere with the relationship you’ve got in front of you.

2. Relationship Problems of the Past

Everyone fights in a relationship. It’s how things are; no matter how much they love each other, there will be times when their personalities clash. Couples that grow from their disagreements, adopt a flexible attitude towards each other, and become more understanding and respectful as a result, are the strongest. Thus, talking about the bad times of a friend’s relationship is not appropriate for your best man or maid of honor speech! Regardless of how well they handled each disagreement, regardless of how you feel they proved their love (and subsequent reconciliation) through their biggest disagreement, their wedding guests do not need to hear about it. Talk about how successful they are as a couple and how they’ll handle life’s struggles with ease, but don’t provide any concrete examples from their experiences.

3. Laughter at the expense of others

I love black comedy, and I want to mention that before we begin. I am drawn to morbid, deadpan, self-deprecating material! The problem is that even I, who relishes George Carlin videos and Martin McDonagh, know that morbid jokes aren’t appropriate for a  wedding reception. You’d better think twice about your opening if you were planning to say, “Well, everyone thought it wouldn’t last, but…” or  something like “I do not truly believe in marriage, but…”” You should make optimistic, lighthearted speeches as the maid of honor and the best man. Include lots of congratulations and cute stories about the newlyweds. You will be sure to make everyone smile if you keep it light and humorous (if that’s not your usual humor, maybe you should ask a friend so you can get help writing your speech)!


4. Getting Dirty With Humor

It is a scene we have all seen in a movie. This style of wedding speech is often given by the best man (don’t tweet at me, that’s how movies go, sorry), who begins his remarks with a story of his wild college days with the groom. Invariably, the groom’s speech fails to make an impression. Guests can end up being uncomfortable and look pretty awkward, while the elderly at the reception are clutching at their pearls, and the bride does not look happy at all. You will end up avoiding all of those weird looks and offended grandmas as well as your friend if you just leave the dirty stories and jokes at home. Whether it’s from spring break or your semester abroad-just do not tell anything like that! Remember to use appropriate humor and keep it to a level appropriate for differing ages and personalities during the reception speech.

5. Inside Jokes

You should avoid dark humor and tawdry tales if you’re serving as best man or maid of honor. Likewise, another kind of joke is also not appropriate for a reception: the inside joke. Only you and your best friend will understand this weird and unique humor that you share. It is just as important to write a speech that everyone can understand for the newlyweds, so make sure you write one that everybody can understand.

6. Do Not Curse In Your Wedding Toast

It is a shame that this even has to be said. Do not curse during a wedding speech. It is very inappropriate to use curse words during that time. It is very disgusting. If you want to appear to be low class, then just use curse words during your speech. They are not funny, and if you are using them to try to be funny, you are better off not giving a speech at all. You must know your audience. Look at who is at the reception. There are parents with small children and people over the age of 30, and no one appreciates it. Plus, you will not get to tell those people to lighten up either. Cursing during your wedding speech is wildly inappropriate, and it makes you sound stupid.

7. Do Not Make Your Speech About You

If you just found out that you are pregnant or just got engaged, then do not announce it during your speech. It is so inappropriate to add in announcements of pregnancies, engagements, new jobs, and more. The wedding is about two people only, and no one cares about you for that time. If you cannot handle not being in the spotlight, then it is best not to give a speech.